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Traveling with a Tribe

August 30, 2016 by Andrew Schones

Road tripping with four kids isn’t always the easiest thing to do, heck, getting everyone in the car to head anywhere can be a challenge at times. Even though our trip to Michigan this year was short, there were things that I learned last summer that set my mind at ease when traveling. From a father’s perspective, this one thing is vitally important. Packing.  

Let me take you back to the summer of 2015. With mountains and marriage on our minds, we plotted a course west. We booked hotels in each area with the requirement of 3 beds in one room or in a suite if possible. Expedia made it easy to select all that criteria, or at least we thought. More on that later.

Packing for six people for two weeks, including wedding attire, can be a challenge, but we came up with a plan. Personally I think the key when driving over 3,000 miles, is comfort. I wanted to make sure everyone had enough space to stretch and keep their hands off each other!  I had a roof carrier bag, but putting that on a Ford Expedition, even for a tall person, is a pain in the butt.  So, I decided to go with a hitch cargo carrier and a rain resistant cargo bag. All of this needed to be lightweight because I knew I would be doing most of the work, and with eight stops, I didn’t want this to wear on me.

The hitch cargo carrier system gave us the ability to keep the car free of luggage with the exception of a cooler, snacks, wedding clothes and bathroom essentials. The kids could also bring their bag of entertainment, a pillow, and blanket. One problem was that standard luggage is too bulky to fit into the cargo bag and, let’s be honest, one piece of luggage for each person with 5 to 7 days of clothing isn’t going to happen. Plus if it rains, even though the cargo bag is supposed to be rain resistant, we may have wet clothes.

Ziploc Big Bags became the solution. These things are great! At around $10 for 3 bags these are a no-brainer. Each person gets their own big bag, which they can stuff with their clothes. It’s waterproof because of the purple ziploc. And most importantly, it’s squishy, so I can stuff these Big Bags into the cargo hitch bag without feeling like I’m playing a daily game of tetris. In that two week road trip, we only had one zipper fail on a bag. It worked out beautifully. We kept a few garbage bags for dirty laundry, which again was easily stuffed into the hitch bag.

As simple as it sounds, taking the stress out of the packing process is important; almost as important as confirming your hotel room arrangements in advance. Unfortunately, after 13 hours of driving to our first stop in Nebraska, our hotel informed us the room I had booked could only handle 5 occupants. Luckily we found another hotel nearby. That was the last time I was going to make that mistake, and fortunately, all the other places we booked had it right.

All-in-all we had a fantastic trip! Fortunately, all of our kids were pretty darn good. They knew the plan: see nature, get married, and visit family. We only suffered one meltdown, but after order was reestablished, everyone knew where we stood.

Our cargo hitch Ziploc luggage system allowed me to pack quickly, efficiently, and without much thought. This was really important to me and to the whole family. I wanted to be free of those Griswold moments, so I could drive with a clear head and be present in the moments that really mattered. Like this...

-Andy

August 30, 2016 /Andrew Schones
blendedfamily, roadtrip, packing, ziploc, ziplocbigbags, vacation, family, familyvacation, stepfamily, cargo, marriage, comfort, scjohnson, puremichigan, highlandcargocarrier
Lora'sPoem.jpg

Hero - Lora F.

July 26, 2016 by Andrew Schones

This past school year, our daughter was asked to write a poem in her High School English class. Deciding to write about domestic violence in a relationship, she sees things from both sides. This can happen whether you are a man or a woman and everyone has part. According to the author, the title is based on a David Bowie song. (Excellent taste in music!)

 

Hero

It’s OK

To stand on a wooden pedestal

Wiping tears from your eyes

Dramatically telling your tale, about your abusive husband

(You are a hero)

I extinguished the villain like a candle

(It’s not every day that a hero commits an act of depravity)

He deserved it

Plus he has an habit of being an harbinger

He also was an reticent man

(Or did I ?)

It’s OK to cry

you are distraught, remember?

Try to swallow your pride

Tell the nice officer what happened

What have I done?

(He’s gone)

There’s red, sticky blood on my hands

He’s gone for good

( You killed me)

I couldn’t help it

(You made an awful choice in committing murder)

Something possessed me

That something is in me

That something is white and... warm?

No like, blazing heat throbbing in my body

Blazing orange smoke curls out of the dragon's snout

His breathing is noisy, like someone snorting with pressure

He along with many creatures, has lungs and a pulsing heart.

His heart throbs like a bass

No. Don’t back away!

Move

Move

(Steady your breathing)

Time to slay the beast

(Alright, this is my chance to escape)

My shadow crouches behind the door

Knife in one hand,

Fist shaking in another.

A flash of silver makes a loud swish noise

My husband has been rightfully killed

In my prison, my husband, the warden tosses, and turns noisily

I don’t know how many times he has taken away my textbooks,

my pencils

And my notebooks

Lately, we have had the Law Enforcement arrive on our doorstep

We screamed each other hoarse that night

Kicked me in the thigh

(Slapped me on the cheek)

Gave me an ugly purple and black bruise

(Pushed me  down the stairs)

( you  splashed boiling water on my  face)

He snapped my legs in half

Even pulled my hair

Bruises, bumps, and scrapes have become the norm

It used to be different

We used to go to social events

We used to go to church

We were a lovely couple

He stayed home while I worked

Surely I would save him time and energy from working hard.

Then the booze arrived in our lives

He picked up bottle after bottle

I never dared to even sip  a single drop

( Actually, the both of us got intoxicated)

I am the hero after all.

I was sexually violated in my room

( You were intoxicated, and you drunkenly gave me  your consent)

Did I?

Since I didn’t give him my consent, and in my altered state, he took advantage of me.

(Or was it the other way around?)

When I came in exhausted, my husband would act like he didn’t care for me

(I DID care for you)

(Remember, I  gave you flowers and lovingly pecked you on the cheek?)

( What a perfuctionary move)

I had to take my anger out on somebody

My husband stood in my way

I punched him in  the stomach

I kicked him in the groin

I thrashed him against the wall

(  It was domestic violence, why didn’t I ask for help?)

He didn’t even flinch

Even better, he didn’t react at all

He just froze like a deer in head lights

He also was white as a deer

He crumpled into a piece of paper

We had to go to the ER when he started to bleed

(My favorite part of the trip is where I had to lie about where I got those injuries)

It’s pretty obvious: Women are physically incapable of causing domestic violence

(Lately our fighting has become more violent)

(Should I be worried ?)

(Nah we will talk about it later)

We don’t argue very much

We are young

I was 28 and he was 25

When we do, we took a walk in the forest nearby

(Later we ate at a Japanese restaurant)

Slurp warm noodles with pale wooden chopsticks

(Gazing at each other)

( We keep  getting lost in our eyes)

We haven’t lost our innocence yet

Our wedding day is  a metaphor for my innocence being lost

( I have been in  many relationships, and out of those girls, I realized that she would be the perfect match)

Pearly white dress with clear heels walking down the aisle, like something out of a fairytale

( I was wearing a hand me down from the funeral director)

My dress is  new

(Dusty pure black suit with flakes on the cuffs)

I had a dozen bridesmaids

Some are my cousins, and a couple of them are my friends

(At least my mom, dad, and my estranged brother are here)

He and I will spend the rest of our life together!

( Or will we?)

I look at him in disgust

At 22, I love him

( She is very controlling)

He tells the truth

( She tells exaggerated stories

Almost an vacillate person)

He has a bit of an anger issue

( She hit me on the shoulder on the second date)

Please. I can give him more than a lousy college scholarship

( That scholarship was for Harvard)

Besides, what can you get out of a College scholarship?

( A very promising scholarship to Harvard)

I will give him something even better;

(Oh yeah?)

I’ll give him our version of a wonderful future.



- Lora F. 


July 26, 2016 /Andrew Schones
domestic violence, family, poetry, daughter
 

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